ocg's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 49 short days It's just around the corner. I mean, a month after Christmas, right there past New Year, it's lurking. "What?" you ask, in a hushed tone, eyes scanning to and fro. "What is it?" Psst... over here. Oregoncoastgirl is turning 30! In January. Can you believe it? Wow, 30? Really? Hunh. So what does turning 30 mean to me? I don't freaking know! It means that I feel a lot younger than I thought I would at 30. It means that should Sweet Babboo and I decide to have children, I'll definitely be a "Mother over 30". It means that I am (and I'm not proud to say this) looking at the creases on my forehead and around my eyes a lot more, wondering what kind of “Old Lady” I’ll someday look like. And that I really do need to find the skin care regimen for me, that includes something other than doing nothing at all and (very) occasionally slapping on some Oil of Olay when my skin gets dry. It means that I’m afraid I won’t be able to act silly and immature when I’m looking at toys, and when I press all the hands of the musical animals so they blast in a cacophony of delicious sound, and stand there and giggle at them, some Gestapo-Over-30-Police will come around the corner and arrest me for posing as an adult, and then they’ll find out that I’m 30 and let me go with a Maturity Warning. It means (another not proud, but true) that I’m afraid of what this number means, and that somehow time is running out, and I haven’t done nearly enough in these 30 years, and holy crap, this isn’t the halfway mark anymore, right? And even though I’ve preached to at least 3 friends in the last month about how they shouldn’t try to live according to some unwritten timetable of society and to not worry about not being married, having children, owning a home, having that job they love or that at least pays well, and all those other things that they are obsessing about not having yet, even though I’ve talked and talked and talked about living in your own time, there’s still some part of me that wonders if I should have a couple more of those things accomplished already. Tomorrow’s entry: reasons I’m glad to be turning 30. Because I gotta put some sort of positive spin on this! 8:08 a.m. - 2004-12-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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